Old 04-30-2022, 10:29 AM   #1
tjw1979
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Default My latest song 'Eyesore'

Hi all,

Here is my latest song if anyone wants to dip in and have a listen

ATB

Tim

https:///instantdismissal.bandcamp.com/track/eyesore

or

https://soundcloud.com/timjwilliams/eyesore
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Old 04-30-2022, 02:49 PM   #2
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Well this was good!
Mix wise, no complains.
Some long high note didn't make it all the way, but...
The bridge/change at 2:55 was really good.
Great!
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Old 05-01-2022, 02:26 AM   #3
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heh I was fully expecting Sting`s voice there...

Nice track.
Vocals a little low initially in relation to the guitar arpeggios to me.
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Old 05-01-2022, 08:32 AM   #4
tjw1979
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Thanks both! Appreciate the listen!
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Old 05-06-2022, 10:03 AM   #5
41TWIN
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You get some really great big sounds in your recordings!!! And your writing puts across the feeling with the music coinciding with the lyrics.

There's a LOT Of heart in it. That's not always something I hear.

Good job man. I feel like if that song was about you I want to make you feel better. LOL. I know what it's like to feel like that though. Not so much anymore. As I'm married and have two kids and don't really think much about my looks. Well, I mean it's not an issue of low self esteem. But I had that when I was younger.

Thank God for giving me certain people in my life. I hope you have that too.

I realize the song may not be about you. But like all my songs are pretty much about what is going on inside me, or maybe my drummer. So I sometimes feel like that's why a lot of people write music. But I know certain people that write songs about love and issues, but supposedly it isn't a personal experience.
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Old 05-06-2022, 10:28 AM   #6
tjw1979
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 41TWIN View Post
You get some really great big sounds in your recordings!!! And your writing puts across the feeling with the music coinciding with the lyrics.

There's a LOT Of heart in it. That's not always something I hear.

Good job man. I feel like if that song was about you I want to make you feel better. LOL. I know what it's like to feel like that though. Not so much anymore. As I'm married and have two kids and don't really think much about my looks. Well, I mean it's not an issue of low self esteem. But I had that when I was younger.

Thank God for giving me certain people in my life. I hope you have that too.

I realize the song may not be about you. But like all my songs are pretty much about what is going on inside me, or maybe my drummer. So I sometimes feel like that's why a lot of people write music. But I know certain people that write songs about love and issues, but supposedly it isn't a personal experience.

Thank you so much for the reply!

That really means a great deal in that you can hear it's from the heart, you're definitely not wrong!

The song is semi autobiographical, it's about being someone who seems to do no good by other people's estimations and almost believes their views from repetion and being in the firing line for so long. It is also taking that idea and almost becoming a cartoon villain about it. It's not about looks though, I use the word eyesore as a marker of being 'that' person.

Yes I've got some good people in my life, I have a lovely partner and a beautiful five year old girl so I'm very lucky.


Thank you for your reply it means a great deal and thanks for listening!

ATB

Tim
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Old 05-09-2022, 06:09 AM   #7
41TWIN
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Your explanation makes me like the song better. I think almost anyone can relate to that type of experience. Sometimes in jobs and life there are lots of people in competition and want to tear the people down around them to get ahead. I find that people willing to lift the people around them up, is rare.

Yeah man, you get some big sounds. It's impressive. I'm assuming you go direct with your guitars??

Glad you got a budding family!!!!!!!!! Kids are such a blessing. They also can be a lot of work. LOL. Mine are both grown and out of the house so I'm envious of you having a 5 year old. That is a wonderful age.
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Old 05-09-2022, 11:46 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 41TWIN View Post
Your explanation makes me like the song better. I think almost anyone can relate to that type of experience. Sometimes in jobs and life there are lots of people in competition and want to tear the people down around them to get ahead. I find that people willing to lift the people around them up, is rare.
You're certainly not wrong there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 41TWIN View Post
Yeah man, you get some big sounds. It's impressive. I'm assuming you go direct with your guitars??
Thanks! Yes I go direct, it's just so much easier and convenient, means I can put guitars down when my daughter is in bed without disturbing her.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 41TWIN View Post
Glad you got a budding family!!!!!!!!! Kids are such a blessing. They also can be a lot of work. LOL. Mine are both grown and out of the house so I'm envious of you having a 5 year old. That is a wonderful age.
Yes it's great, I was fairly late having her but I wouldn't change it for the world. She is the apple of my eye, and as difficult as it can be sometimes, it's totally worth it. She's just so funny. In fact the song ghosts is partially about her and some of the things she's said to me.
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Old 05-10-2022, 08:24 AM   #9
ggrey
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Great music Tim! Both sonics and lyrics. Ghosts too really hits the spot for me...nicely done. And, it was great reading the conversation between you and 41TWIN. I am a bit older than the two of you, but we all seem to have had similar musical journeys from the Beatles to great new music...like yours! Thanks for posting.

To be honest the one thing that bothered me in both songs was your tendency to hold out your notes at the end of most lyrical phrases. Just my opinion, but if you were to end some of the words on the next beat, the phrasing would add a new rhythmic element. And when you did hold on to the notes of other phrases it would be a refreshing change to the flow. Creating a bit more melodic interest for the listener.

Just my 2 1/2 cents.
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Old 05-10-2022, 01:16 PM   #10
tjw1979
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Originally Posted by ggrey View Post
Great music Tim! Both sonics and lyrics. Ghosts too really hits the spot for me...nicely done. And, it was great reading the conversation between you and 41TWIN. I am a bit older than the two of you, but we all seem to have had similar musical journeys from the Beatles to great new music...like yours! Thanks for posting.

To be honest the one thing that bothered me in both songs was your tendency to hold out your notes at the end of most lyrical phrases. Just my opinion, but if you were to end some of the words on the next beat, the phrasing would add a new rhythmic element. And when you did hold on to the notes of other phrases it would be a refreshing change to the flow. Creating a bit more melodic interest for the listener.

Just my 2 1/2 cents.
Hey man!! How you doing, I hope you are well!

Thanks for listening in and sharing your thoughts, I appreciate it.

Yeah you're not wrong, I do tend to hold out notes and wail like there's no tomorrow haha. Definitely a point of consideration and something I should likely spend more time on. I've no idea why I do that other than I'm caught in a moment and letting my voice ride out.

I'll take that forward into some new songs. I've got two I'm putting together at the moment back to back which sound quite different so hopefully I can approach those in a different way vocally.

All the best

Tim
.

Last edited by tjw1979; 05-10-2022 at 01:17 PM. Reason: Spelling
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Old 08-08-2022, 07:30 PM   #11
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Damn....just damn. I love this
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Old 08-08-2022, 10:42 PM   #12
fHumble fHingaz
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Hi Tim, another very cool track!

I love the powerfully individual sound and approach you have. Really nice to hear you filling out the vocals with harmony textures too. I really enjoyed it when the song changes gear into the riffy section.

I also really dig the idea behind the song and the lyrics. I relate very much personally to the concept. The term “eyesore” is a forceful and vivid description with an element of wordplay about it that appeals to my way of thinking.

My only points of critique would be that the chorus sections of the song get a tad muddy in the low end. I reckon high passing the rhythm guitars a little more aggressively might clean that up and actually imbue the chorus with more power.

The other thing that caught my ear is that some of the higher notes are just not quite reaching the pitch target. Just to put some context on that comment, I have quite a high tolerance for less than perfect pitch - I like “imperfect” vocals - particularly when coupled with a characterful voice such as your’s…. But I just thought there were a couple of notes that could have done with a re-do or even a tuning tweak.

Awesome work!
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Old 08-09-2022, 07:48 AM   #13
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Great Song...this is my favorite part of the forums and I love it when someone hits it out of the park in whatever genre
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Old 08-09-2022, 08:31 AM   #14
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Magnificent production. Way to go.
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Old 08-10-2022, 12:39 AM   #15
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Hey- Not a usual listen..#BUT it sounded ok here..might agree with some previous comments here n there.
Overall it works_4_me..although would add that as humans,we should be VERY mindful of our projections (either consciously,or,unconsciously.)

Lyrics are basically spells cast out to the aetheric field..please be aware that each thought carries a signiture,a frequency,of intention.
Low vibrational messages,attract low vibration entities.JFYI.

#IF you are happy,i am happy=thanks4sharing.
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Old 08-10-2022, 07:16 AM   #16
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I really liked it. I'm impressed you didn't deviate on the initial guitar riff, it sounded machine like and good. Top tune.
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