Shine On Me - Grunge Original

[jonlint]

Had a little writers block the last few months - that came to a crashing end - here's "Shine On Me" - feedback most welcome.

https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/shine-on-me

LYRICS:
(Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)

You were a friend
Then you throw me in
The deep end
Drowning inside my skin
I’m sinking down
And live’s cavin’ in
Throw me a lifeline!

Got thrown a rope
I’m at the end of it
Despair and doom
Live’s a blend of it
Watch my wits end
Swiftly flee
Waitin’ for luck
To shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me
Shine!

A living ghost
In my empty hole
A poison dose
My only daily goal
A million posts
That my live’s grandiose
Throw me a lifeline!

Got thrown a rope
I’m at the end of it
Despair and doom
Live’s a blend of it
Watch my wits end
Swiftly flee
Waitin’ for luck
To shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me
Shine!

SOLO

Got thrown a rope
I’m at the end of it
Despair and doom
Live’s a blend of it
Watch my wits end
Swiftly flee
Waitin’ for luck
To shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me
Shine on me...

[timothys_monster]

Nice one!!! You really made the guitar sound coming back from the 90ies.

I really like the singing and phrasing, too.

The only thing that sticks out as not coherent are the drums. If you listen to the grunge classics you will notice that the drums are very alive with some big reverb and not as compressed as your version. The guitars and vocals are so nice and wide. Give the drums a chance to breathe, too

[Naji]

Like it, vocals are great !

[kindafishy]

Great (!) guitar riffs. Really digging the tone as well.

Might just be my listening environment, but I feel like the cymbals are a little too much for the mix. They seem too washy/sustain-y. Agree with timothys_monster on the drums.

Great vocals. Powerful and clear. Really nice harmonies too. All vocals might be suffering a little due to masking by the cymbals though.

The above might just be what I'm hearing here, might be fine in other environments?

I like that is is just over 3 min as well. Makes me want to listen again.

Guitar riffs. Yup. Awesome.

[g4greg]

yeah, I like it a lot! Very AICish.

I agree with the drums and cymbals.. lowering those cymbals by like 1 DB and nbacking up the threshold on the drum compressor would make a huge difference.


Vocals and guitars are on point though!

[RDBOIS]

If I was mixing this song I would pull down some frequencies in the instruments to make room for the vocals. Seems like the vocals are competing with the crunch of the electric guitars, which is a very bad mixing strategy.

[jonlint]

Hi guys,

Many, many, many thanks. Really awesome feedback. Will do a remix - you are spot on with the faults here.