Old 07-22-2018, 02:09 AM   #1
jonlint
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Default Whiplash - Alt. Rock Song

Hi all,

Working on an Alternative Rock song idea. So far I have written the basic song licks, 1st verse and chorus vocals. I think it has a Velvet Revolver feel to it. Feedback welcome on what I have so far:

https://soundcloud.com/jonathan-linton-3/whiplash-rev1

WHIPLASH
(Words by Jonathan Linton, Music by Jonathan Linton)

Drop me off here
Won’t go on your ego trip
Hope you enjoy the ride
You fooled me once
Behind with your piston grip
Jekyll changed to Hyde

You won the game
I took the blame
Payback will come
From those that you maim
I will enjoy
Watching you fall
Fall from the sky
Fallin’ aflame

I think it's gonna end for you badly
Route you're going, you're gonna crash
Kick me down, crawl on me, chasin' madly
Power control, gives you whiplash

Kick me down, crawl on me
Gives you whiplash
Power control
Gives you whiplash
Kick me down, crawl on me
Gives you whiplash
Took a bad route
Now take the backlash

VERSE 2 (Pending)

I think it's gonna end for you badly
Route you're going, you're gonna crash
Kick me down, crawl on me, chasin' madly
Power control, gives you whiplash

Kick me down, crawl on me
Gives you whiplash
Power control
Gives you whiplash
Kick me down, crawl on me
Gives you whiplash
Took a bad route
Now take the backlash

Last edited by jonlint; 07-22-2018 at 06:09 AM.
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Old 07-22-2018, 04:27 AM   #2
Black_Stone_Steve
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Great sounding song. It really does have the Velvet Revolver feel to it. Nice groove and mix.
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Old 07-22-2018, 06:09 AM   #3
jonlint
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black_Stone_Steve View Post
Great sounding song. It really does have the Velvet Revolver feel to it. Nice groove and mix.
Hi Steve, thanks for the feedback! 1st verse is written - see updated link above and text and please let me know your further feedback.
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Old 07-22-2018, 06:10 PM   #4
Black_Stone_Steve
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonlint View Post
Hi Steve, thanks for the feedback! 1st verse is written - see updated link above and text and please let me know your further feedback.
Again, great groove!!If I were to be critical I might turn down the guitars just a tiny bit and bring up the vocals. More about my taste than a criticism. I think it sounds great. Really like the bridge part closer to the end.
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Old 07-25-2018, 07:08 AM   #5
mschuster
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Yea, definitely get Revolver reference.... Slither! Dig this! Nice! I echo Steve's mix comments.
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Old 07-25-2018, 01:56 PM   #6
boydwgrossii
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I like this. The hi-hat has a lot of room in the mix, but I kind of like it. I'm still new to mixing, so I'm not sure if I have any merit yet.

The only thing I would think would be to try a De-Esser on the hihat. It's an odd trick but it allows for you to boost the high end on the EQ and not have to brash a sound.
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Old 07-25-2018, 02:09 PM   #7
jonlint
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Hi guys,

Thanks for the feedback! Plan to make some refinements and record the 2nd verse which I now have written. Here are my mix notes so far:

Snare down
Reduce side chain compression snare - guitar
Hihat down, pan more left?
Drums down
Vocals up
Guitar up to suit
Intro guitar up a little
Double vocals up

Might also retrack the entire main vocals.

Stay tuned, and I cannot thank you enough for the honest critique, good and bad. I really listen to you guys and it really helps!
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