Newcomer to the forums, metal song - "The Wire

[MrEngrish]

Hey everybody, I'm a musician based out of Rhode Island and I'm in the process of self-producing both an EP and full length metal record. A few friends play various bits and pieces of things here and there throughout the tracks, but this one in particular is all me. Love to hear what anybody has to say

https://soundcloud.com/mrengrish/new-song-the-wire

[kindafishy]

Very cool ideas here. I like how you anchor the song around that cool two measure progression. It has really good movement to it. Great vocal canvas.

You've got some nice metal tones going here on the guitars and the bass.

The drums need the most focus here, I think. Very bright/thin hats and the snare is pretty snappy/poppy. Kick is really, really buried. There's a really good thread on mixing hard rock and metal that might be helpful for getting the kick to come through -> http://forum.cockos.com/showthread.php?t=68501

Sound really quite good to me other than that.

You've got a lot of good detail in here. I can hear the effort that went into the arrangement and the ideas. Favourite parts: around 2:44, you do a very cool variation on the main guitar idea with an accent. There's another part of the song where you do a cool pinch. The space introduced after the 3:00 mark was really effective in changing the texture of the overall song.

Any vocals coming? Gotta hook up with a singer if that's not you. No cookie monsters.

[MrEngrish]

Thanks a lot for the feedback, this was probably one of my first couple mixes so there's definitely bits and parts I'll be working on cleaning up. Vocals are coming pretty soon, not "cookie monster" per se but I was shooting for a bit of a Phil Anselmo-sort of vaguely pitched heavy delivery. Drums have been a little tricky but this stuff should be really helpful. Thanks again

[pattonfreak1]

Kevin pretty much nailed it as far as what's wrong goes.
still a very cool song... I'd be happy to lend vocals to it if you like.