Another old guy checking in.
I was in your position a few years back and picking drum software was one of the hardest decisions I had to make. After much research I went with BFD (version 1.5 actually). BFD2 was even better and BFD3 is the cat's pajamas. (
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I've got Studio Drummer and some other drum software, but for me BFD does it!
It is also on sale at the moment (till the end of the year, I believe) bundled with the percussion expansion.